We have many, Classic Who is amazing. Maybe one day we’ll sit down and count them all but we’ll just watch them for the time being. P.S. Sorry about David
As a special treat, here’s the full script for that 5WF audio thing what I did. The actual thing can be found here. Try to spot all the differences from the actual thing and you win nothing.
DOCTOR WHO: A GOOD PUG GOES TO WAR
By JOEL H
SCENE 1: METEBILIS 14 NEWS
(A GENERIC YET SPACE-AGE NEWS THEME PLAYS.)
This is Metebelis (pronounced Meat-oh-behl-eez)14 News. All news, all day. The Great and Mighty King of the Seven Stars to Doomsday is today revealing the official response to the recent tensions with the Blobatron Clan of Spottron Pi. Ambassador Grudgeworthy, who has repeatedly been the target of Blobatron pranks, including whoopee chairs, expanding trousers and unexpected custard, is believed to have been one of the main figureheads in writing up the official response.
(SPACEY REGAL FANFARE AND CHEERING CROWDS)
And here he is, arriving on the Royal Hovering Cushion, The Great and Mighty King of the Seven Stars to Doomsday, King Radolf Randolf Fuzzlechops Randolf the third, known affectionately as ‘Brian’ to the public, for reasons no one quite knows. Anyway, he’s arrived at the podium, and he’s wearing the crown with the spangly things and the holographic disco ball. (Quickly) He’s about to speak now so I’ll shut up.
(KING BRIAN BARKS SEVERAL TIMES, REVEALING HIM TO BE A PUG. HE THEN COUGHS AND BEGINS HIS SPEECH IN A DEEP AND POWERFUL VOICE.)
People of Metebelis (pronounced Mehtt-ay-bye-laws) 14. As your king, and representative to the intergalactic community, it is up to me to respond in this time of bewilderment. Against the wishes of SOME members of the Metebelis Parliament, I have decided that I will not-
(THERE IS A GENERIC TELEPORTERY SOUND AND KING BRIAN IS CUT OFF. THE CROUD REACTS WITH A VERY AUDIBLE AND SIMLTANEOUS GASP.)
Oh my flipping blimey goodness! The king has vanished! I repeat, the king has vanished! What a surprising turn of events! (Complete change of tone) And now, the weather.